I don’t mean I do this once in a while. I do it all. the. time.
Today is the day. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said these words to myself or written them on the foggy mirror while getting ready in the morning. I hesitate in calling these words my mantra, as I think of a mantra as something you live your life by. Something you say over and over that not only encourages, but produces results.
Given this new-found discovery, I decided to see what else might be evading me in my daily, full-mirror once-overs.
Sidebar – my mom gets very uncomfortable when things start getting too….shall we say, “real.” So, in an effort to protect her from any ridicule at next week’s bridge game, I will swap the word “naked” for “in a bikini" in this next portion.
You know how you stand in a bikini in the mirror and look at yourself? I mean really look at yourself. (uh, yes you do.)You know, you’re standing there in your bikini, sucking in your stomach. You do the half-turn to check out every angle and think to yourself, Huh, it’s not quite as bad as I thought. Well, this past weekend, I tried something a little different. I stood in front of the mirror - in my bikini - without sucking in my stomach or tightening any muscle groups…
***************I'll give you the moment you need to let that sink in.************
When did this happen? Yesterday? Because I don’t remember the ramp-up process.And, look, this has nothing to do with comparing how out of shape I am with someone else. This has to do with comparing the “me” of today, with the “me” of yesterday. (so to speak)
Let me explain a little something about myself; I think a lot of things are a good idea. Getting back in shape? Good idea. Being a millionaire? Good idea. The trick is finding that beautiful balance between what I want and being okay with the work and commitment it will take to get me there.And there it is – work and commitment; my sometime nemesis. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t run from all commitment. I was fully committed to consuming my daily allotment of Weight Watchers Points by 10 am most days. And I used to embrace the work and commitment of fitness. Oh, how I long to find that place again - that glorious place that drove my running shoes and me to the pavement each night after work. That place that was sated by steamed broccoli, fish and green tea. Not a beer, quesadillas and my comfy-cozy jammie pants.
Yet, even with that horrifyingly vivid, mega-slow mo’ replay of my ill-advised bikini experiment begging me otherwise, I can scarcely think of anything better than a fire, my jammie pants and couchin’ it for the night.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow’s definitely gonna be the day!