Day 5 of Insanity. I liken it to a prison sentence. Is it better to say Day 5, or should I go with 55 Days-To-Go. Ewww - Day 5, definitely Day 5. I have to be honest, after the first night's Fit Test, I wasn't sure I would make it to Day 2. And after Day 3 - well, let's just put it this way - the typing that I'm doing at this moment, isn't without considerable pain. So, yeah - Day 5, bitches - like a boss!
Sidebar - It's no secret that I'm doing this whole thing for a t-shirt I could make myself. So look what I found online the other day. Do you see what I see? Does that say, LIMITED EDITION??? Do you have any idea how pissed I'll be if I get through this and I don't even have the shirt to show for it? It'll
be just like that time I voted and they ran out of "I voted" stickers.
I mean, what's the point? Why does the universe hate me so?
Since I began this journey, I've received lots of advice. The most
common being, "You have to do this with your significant other." I
thought, how fun! But, because Jesus
loves me and protects me from things I think I want, my
boyfriend was busy the first night and couldn't join me. If I could've stepped outside
myself to observe my Fit Test, I believe I would liken it to something
resembling geriatric interpretive dance. Any and all "cool" is off the table with
this program. When did I become this uncoordinated? I couldn't even
figure out which arm should go forward and which should go back while running
in place. People, I'm a run-ner, it's what I do.
But aside from the whole lack-of-coordination thing, I legitimately fear every workout. One of their phrases is, You have to hit "play" every day. Every time I go to hit play on the Blue Ray, it's like playing Russian Roulette. I have no idea what to expect - but I fear the worst. And my fears are almost always realized.
Insanity reduces your life to 30 second segments. Nothing, and I mean nothing, will heighten your awareness of Einstein's Theory of Relativity, the way Insanity does.
When Shaun T says, "30 more seconds of power jumps," I'm like, "You have
GOT to be effin' kidding me!" And when Shaun T says, "Okay, water
break, you've got 30 seconds," I'm like, "You have GOT to be effin'
There is just so much sweating, grunting, groaning, cussing, screaming and weeping taking place - and that's just the warm-up. Anyone reading this who has done Insanity, knows how very true this is. The dude is certifiable - but I believe in him. And I'm starting to believe in me.
I live to put an "X" on the calendar and chip away at my Insanity "sentence." Today's workout is a little something called Pure Cardio - or as I like to call it, Puke Cardio.
Here's to one more "X"!