Damn You, Pinterest

Be grateful for what you have. A bird in the hand. Don't get your hopes up. Don’t expect too much. 

These words – and like variations - were spoken often in my childhood home.  Expressions and idioms that helped shape the person I am today.  These phrases have often shifted the focus from the monetary (or lack thereof, to be more accurate) and directed me to appreciate my true riches, such as family, health, love, safety and security.  These words have kept me humble.  These words have kept me appreciative. 

   

These words, quite frankly, have left me in the dust.

It wasn’t long ago that I was sailing through life, totally unaware that I needed more.  Yet, in this age of social media dependence, every time I log onto Facebook or Pinterest or Twitter, Instagram or - pick your addiction – I’m bombarded with inspirational and motivating quotes, e-cards and posters just begging me to get off my ass and do more with my life!  

Source - Pinterest

I've got what "what" takes?  And now I have to give it all I got?  Am I giving anything all I got?  Don’t be ridiculous – how exhausting.

Look, I have a happy, healthy family who loves me unconditionally and supports my every effort.  I have friends who would fight a Kraken for me, (I'd have to get 'em drunk first - but they'd fight it.)  a home that’s warm in the winter and cool in the summer, a car that gets me where I need to go, a secure job that affords me the luxury of paying my bills and a midsection that assures the masses I ain’t missing any meals.  I have enough. 

I do, right? (Good Lord, if that isn't codependency in overdrive.)

Be grateful for what you have. A bird in the hand. Don't get your hopes up. Don’t expect too much.

These words, as well meaning as they are intended to be, hold me back.  It’s as if simply wanting more will set off some karma alarm and cause my true riches to fall out of balance.  And thinking I deserve more?  People, that’s terrifying for me to even type.

In the 7th grade I tried out for cheerleader never dreaming I would actually make it.  The day of the results, I remember saying to myself, "Don't get your hopes up, don't expect too much."  So when they called my name for the 7th grade squad, my friend had to nudge me and say, "Uh, like for sure, they just totally called your name."  I was floored.  I had no idea what they saw in me. 

This way of thinking - this slighting of my abilities - has followed me into adulthood. (Heaven forbid it be youthful, taut skin or the ability to stay up past 10 pm.)  It also fuels the other two shackles - A bird in the hand and Be grateful for what you have.  I mean, why reach for more when you doubt your ability to attain more, besides...you already have a bird in the hand.  Be grateful for that.   

Is it just me or does your head hurt, too?

I think this boils down to a generational thing.  When my parents were growing up, these phrases fit their reality.  Their parents had just emerged from the Great Depression.  Housing and paying jobs were scarce.  Food, clothing - everything - was rationed.  Be grateful for what you have and A bird in the hand weren't just words that were said, but actions that were demonstrated daily.   

With the Gen-Xers and the Gen-Yers dominating the the social media show, it's no wonder I can't check Facebook or Pinterest without feeling like my life needs a major face-lift.  This group of individuals are the poster children of "what have you done for me lately?"  If they don't like it, they move along.  Boss piss you off?  Find another job.  Don't like your house?  Move.  Don't like your car?  Buy a new one.  Don't like your relationship?  Go out and get yourself another one.  There's always something bigger and better just around the corner for these guys. 

We Gen-Xers on the older end of the spectrum - we're caught somewhere in the middle.  

When is it okay to want more?

Those of you who have read me for a while know I had a therapist who I assume was high during most of my sessions.  I remember asking him, "Is that okay?" to any decision I "made." He would always respond with, "I don't know, is it?"  I just thought he was being lazy from hitting the chronic, but now I know that the answer to, "Is that okay?" is up to me.  I make the decision as to what is right for me.  I don't need validation from anyone else.

So my decision is yes.  Yes, I do have enough.

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Source - Pinterest

Well shit.