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Friday, February 15, 2013

Check Your "Cool" at the Door

Day 5 of Insanity.  I liken it to a prison sentence.  Is it better to say Day 5, or should I go with 55 Days-To-Go.  Ewww - Day 5, definitely Day 5I have to be honest, after the first night's Fit Test, I wasn't sure I would make it to Day 2.  And after Day 3 - well, let's just put it this way - the typing that I'm doing at this moment, isn't without considerable pain.  So, yeah - Day 5, bitches - like a boss!

Sidebar - It's no secret that I'm doing this whole thing for a t-shirt I could make myself.  So look what I found online the other day.  Do you see what I see?  Does that say, LIMITED EDITION???  Do you have any idea how pissed I'll be if I get through this and I don't even have the shirt to show for it?  It'll be just like that time I voted and they ran out of "I voted" stickers.  I mean, what's the point?  Why does the universe hate me so?  


Since I began this journey, I've received lots of advice.  The most common being, "You have to do this with your significant other." I thought, how fun!  But, because Jesus loves me and protects me from things I think I want, my boyfriend was busy the first night and couldn't join me.  If I could've stepped outside myself to observe my Fit Test, I believe I would liken it to something resembling geriatric interpretive dance.  Any and all "cool" is off the table with this program. When did I become this uncoordinated?  I couldn't even figure out which arm should go forward and which should go back while running in place.  People, I'm a run-ner, it's what I do.

But aside from the whole lack-of-coordination thing, I legitimately fear every workout.  One of their phrases is, You have to hit "play" every day.  Every time I go to hit play on the Blue Ray, it's like playing Russian Roulette.  I have no idea what to expect - but I fear the worst.  And my fears are almost always realized.

Insanity reduces your life to 30 second segments.  Nothing, and I mean nothing, will heighten your awareness of Einstein's Theory of Relativity, the way Insanity does.   When Shaun T says, "30 more seconds of power jumps," I'm like, "You have GOT to be effin' kidding me!"  And when Shaun T says, "Okay, water break, you've got 30 seconds,"  I'm like, "You have GOT to be effin' kidding me!"

There is just so much sweating, grunting, groaning, cussing, screaming and weeping taking place - and that's just the warm-up.  Anyone reading this who has done Insanity, knows how very true this is.  The dude is certifiable - but I believe in him.  And I'm starting to believe in me. 

I live to put an "X" on the calendar and chip away at my Insanity "sentence."  Today's workout is a little something called Pure Cardio - or as I like to call it, Puke Cardio.

Here's to one more "X"!


9 comments:

  1. 30 seconds lasts an eternity when you're doing something excruciating. Like exercise. 30 second water breaks? Ludicrous. I prefer 30 minutes.

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    1. I prefer my water breaks be beer breaks. And yeah, 30 minutes-ish :) Your cupcake idea is sounding MIGHTY appealing...

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  2. I completed insanity at the end of last spring! It's worth it. I need to go back to it though. Best of luck with the next couple of months.

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    1. Thank you! It's kicking my rear, but there's something about me that enjoys that. Twisted? Perhaps, but I'll ride that wave as long as I can ;) Thanks for stopping by!

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  3. sounds painful....I hate exercise lol

    stopping in from the more than mommies mixer and following :)

    The 5th Level of Motherhood

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    1. It IS painful. The whole time I'm doing Insanity, the question "why" is running through my head. I really don't have a good answer - other than I want that shirt! Thanks for stopping by. Come back again! I'm heading over to your page now.

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  4. I'm thrilled you stopped by for a visit! Thanks, Rena! I'll go visit you!

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  5. "...geriatric interpretive dance."

    I will chew on this golden visual nugget for days. You are fan freaking tastic woman.

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    1. I'm so glad you're reading me...it's so good for my soul! xo

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